Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare
Act 3 - Scene 2
A room in LEONATO’S house
Don Pedro : I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and
[p]then go I
Claudio : I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll
Don Pedro : Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss
marriage as to show a child his new coat [p]and forbid him to wear it.
I will only be bold [p]with Benedick for his company; for, from the
crown [p]of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all [p]mirth: he
hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's [p]bow-string and the little hangman
dare not shoot at [p]him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and
his [p]tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his [p]tongue
Benedick : Gallants, I am not as I have been.
Leonato : So say I. methinks you are sadder.
Claudio : I hope he be in love.
Don Pedro : Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in
[p]him, to be truly
touched with love: if he be sad, [p]he wants money.
Benedick : I have the toothache.
Don Pedro : Draw it.
Benedick : Hang it!
Claudio : You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.
Don Pedro : What! sigh for the toothache?
Leonato : Where is but a humour or a worm.
Benedick : Well, every one can master a grief but he that has
Claudio : Yet say I, he is in love.
Don Pedro : There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be
[p]a fancy that
he hath to strange disguises; as, to be [p]a Dutchman today, a
Frenchman to-morrow, or in the [p]shape of two countries at once, as,
a German from [p]the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard
from [p]the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy [p]to this
foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no [p]fool for fancy, as you
would have it appear he is.
Claudio : If he be not in love with some woman, there is no
signs: a' brushes his hat o' [p]mornings; what should that bode?
Don Pedro : Hath any man seen him at the barber's?
Claudio : No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him,
[p]and the old
ornament of his cheek hath already [p]stuffed tennis-balls.
Leonato : Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.
Don Pedro : Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him
[p]out by that?
Claudio : That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.
Don Pedro : The greatest note of it is his melancholy.
Claudio : And when was he wont to wash his face?
Don Pedro : Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear
[p]what they say of
Claudio : Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into
and now governed by stops.
Don Pedro : Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude,
[p]conclude he is
Claudio : Nay, but I know who loves him.
Don Pedro : That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.
Claudio : Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of
[p]all, dies for him.
Don Pedro : She shall be buried with her face upwards.
Benedick : Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old
[p]signior, walk aside
with me: I have studied eight [p]or nine wise words to speak to you,
which these [p]hobby-horses must not hear.
Don Pedro : For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.
Claudio : 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this
[p]played their parts
with Beatrice; and then the two [p]bears will not bite one another
when they meet.
Don John : My lord and brother, God save you!
Don Pedro : Good den, brother.
Don John : If your leisure served, I would speak with you.
Don Pedro : In private?
Don John : If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for
[p]what I would
speak of concerns him.
Don Pedro : What's the matter?
Don John : [To CLAUDIO] Means your lordship to be married
Don Pedro : You know he does.
Don John : I know not that, when he knows what I know.
Claudio : If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.
Don John : You may think I love you not: let that appear
[p]hereafter, and aim
better at me by that I now will [p]manifest. For my brother, I think
he holds you [p]well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to
effect [p]your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and [p]labour
Don Pedro : Why, what's the matter?
Don John : I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances
[p]shortened, for she
has been too long a talking of, [p]the lady is disloyal.
Claudio : Who, Hero?
Don Pedro : Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero:
Claudio : Disloyal?
Don John : The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I
[p]could say she
were worse: think you of a worse [p]title, and I will fit her to it.
Wonder not till [p]further warrant: go but with me to-night, you
shall [p]see her chamber-window entered, even the night [p]before her
wedding-day: if you love her then, [p]to-morrow wed her; but it would
better fit your honour [p]to change your mind.
Claudio : May this be so?
Don Pedro : I will not think it.
Don John : If you dare not trust that you see, confess not
[p]that you know: if
you will follow me, I will show [p]you enough; and when you have seen
more and heard [p]more, proceed accordingly.
Claudio : If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry
[p]her to-morrow in
the congregation, where I should [p]wed, there will I shame her.
Don Pedro : And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join
[p]with thee to
Don John : I will disparage her no farther till you are my
[p]witnesses: bear it
coldly but till midnight, and [p]let the issue show itself.
Don Pedro : O day untowardly turned!
Claudio : O mischief strangely thwarting!
Don John : O plague right well prevented! so will you say when
[p]you have seen
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