Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare

Act 3 - Scene 2

A room in LEONATO’S house

Don Pedro : I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and [p]then go I
toward Arragon.

Claudio : I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll [p]vouchsafe me.

Don Pedro : Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss [p]of your
marriage as to show a child his new coat [p]and forbid him to wear it.
I will only be bold [p]with Benedick for his company; for, from the
crown [p]of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all [p]mirth: he
hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's [p]bow-string and the little hangman
dare not shoot at [p]him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and
his [p]tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his [p]tongue

Benedick : Gallants, I am not as I have been.

Leonato : So say I. methinks you are sadder.

Claudio : I hope he be in love.

Don Pedro : Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in [p]him, to be truly
touched with love: if he be sad, [p]he wants money.

Benedick : I have the toothache.

Don Pedro : Draw it.

Benedick : Hang it!

Claudio : You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

Don Pedro : What! sigh for the toothache?

Leonato : Where is but a humour or a worm.

Benedick : Well, every one can master a grief but he that has [p]it.

Claudio : Yet say I, he is in love.

Don Pedro : There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be [p]a fancy that
he hath to strange disguises; as, to be [p]a Dutchman today, a
Frenchman to-morrow, or in the [p]shape of two countries at once, as,
a German from [p]the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard
from [p]the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy [p]to this
foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no [p]fool for fancy, as you
would have it appear he is.

Claudio : If he be not in love with some woman, there is no [p]believing old
signs: a' brushes his hat o' [p]mornings; what should that bode?

Don Pedro : Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

Claudio : No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, [p]and the old
ornament of his cheek hath already [p]stuffed tennis-balls.

Leonato : Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

Don Pedro : Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him [p]out by that?

Claudio : That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.

Don Pedro : The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

Claudio : And when was he wont to wash his face?

Don Pedro : Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear [p]what they say of

Claudio : Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into [p]a lute-string
and now governed by stops.

Don Pedro : Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, [p]conclude he is
in love.

Claudio : Nay, but I know who loves him.

Don Pedro : That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

Claudio : Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of [p]all, dies for him.

Don Pedro : She shall be buried with her face upwards.

Benedick : Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old [p]signior, walk aside
with me: I have studied eight [p]or nine wise words to speak to you,
which these [p]hobby-horses must not hear.

Don Pedro : For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

Claudio : 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this [p]played their parts
with Beatrice; and then the two [p]bears will not bite one another
when they meet.

Don John : My lord and brother, God save you!

Don Pedro : Good den, brother.

Don John : If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

Don Pedro : In private?

Don John : If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for [p]what I would
speak of concerns him.

Don Pedro : What's the matter?

Don John : [To CLAUDIO] Means your lordship to be married [p]to-morrow?

Don Pedro : You know he does.

Don John : I know not that, when he knows what I know.

Claudio : If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

Don John : You may think I love you not: let that appear [p]hereafter, and aim
better at me by that I now will [p]manifest. For my brother, I think
he holds you [p]well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to
effect [p]your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and [p]labour
ill bestowed.

Don Pedro : Why, what's the matter?

Don John : I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances [p]shortened, for she
has been too long a talking of, [p]the lady is disloyal.

Claudio : Who, Hero?

Don Pedro : Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero:

Claudio : Disloyal?

Don John : The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I [p]could say she
were worse: think you of a worse [p]title, and I will fit her to it.
Wonder not till [p]further warrant: go but with me to-night, you
shall [p]see her chamber-window entered, even the night [p]before her
wedding-day: if you love her then, [p]to-morrow wed her; but it would
better fit your honour [p]to change your mind.

Claudio : May this be so?

Don Pedro : I will not think it.

Don John : If you dare not trust that you see, confess not [p]that you know: if
you will follow me, I will show [p]you enough; and when you have seen
more and heard [p]more, proceed accordingly.

Claudio : If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry [p]her to-morrow in
the congregation, where I should [p]wed, there will I shame her.

Don Pedro : And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join [p]with thee to
disgrace her.

Don John : I will disparage her no farther till you are my [p]witnesses: bear it
coldly but till midnight, and [p]let the issue show itself.

Don Pedro : O day untowardly turned!

Claudio : O mischief strangely thwarting!

Don John : O plague right well prevented! so will you say when [p]you have seen
the sequel.

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Next: Act 3 - Scene 3

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